I think I really must be screwed up.  I got a notification today that my CA125 (tumor marker) is still normal, which means I'm still in remission.  For some reason, I was disappointed.  I've tried to figure this out, and the only thing I can come up with is that when the levels were elevated and I was getting chemo, I knew where I stood.  When it's like this, I keep wondering if it's going to come back.  Will it be the next time?  Six months from now?  A year?  Five years?  The fear of the unknown can make you think strange things.